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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?